life changing

been thinking about how to make my life more
interesting and exciting since Caroline told me its been
annoying ands he doesn't wanna talk anymore

I've been thinking about what's wrong with me
and what differences I could make to my life

I first start talking to the people around me
the friends that I never really share my feelings with
trying to open myself up to people , because I realized
that it was because I never open myself up to people
thats why I need to express my feelings to Caro
all the time ... my stress, my day, my school

it was too much for one person to take on

and I also observed that I share my feelings
more often to the people online rather than
real people around me at school or places

so I started talking more to real people
less internet friends ..................

and then I started seperating my life
more evenly for different things
rather than doing works all the time
I'd spare a hour or two just take a walk
to see friends or even just play guitar or do karate
see new things , look through news on art , music

because I found that I start becoming a really really
boring person when I don't do other things, I have
no story or ideas, news to share with other people
at the same time its making me really bored as well
because nothing new is going on

I observed that a lof ot people choose to live a life
that they know thousands of people and everywhere
they are hanging out with new people each day and
each month, it's pretty amazing

I think there was a while I became like that too
and also when I was traveling , I was extremely happy
I add 3 new people on facebook like each day

it kind of makes me think about relationships you have
with people, sometimes it just really depends on the time
and the places, your living pattern , decide that who you
are close with, it's just hard to force that to happen

and those who you find really special to all the others
those that care about your life , kind of remain
sometimse they just seem to fade away

and some people choose not hang out with same people

I don't know , its all really hard to understand

I guess the person you feel really special to
you'd wanna hold onto them for the rest of your life i guess
sometimes eventually marriage or whatsoever

good night it's been a long day

i think i should really think less about myself but
more for other people sometimes
its more beautiful that way

keeping yourself mature, happy, and positive
is really important
it helps so many things