I am lost

I am lost



that's it

working hard and its not happening again

I've been trying to do lots of reviews
and I slack off quite a bit writing them

you must not do this Ray
as kair has told you before
you gotta be jonny on the spot ..
and gotta stay on top of things ...

though it was just hard for me to
stay focus on something for a long time
except for things I am really really
passionate about, I love moving around

I read about the front man from Dirty Secrets
he said one of the best way to learn is to
meet new people and learn what they
do, man it sounds awesome that was
exactly what I think !

I should set myself on a mission like that
too ! man

and the other thing never will happen again
is not to talk to the person I wanna talk to

FUCK
I HATE THAT FEELING

SO FUCK NO

ok..

it'd always be like this once in a while
where I question where am I aiming to
and where exactly I am ......

fuck I was gonna type something but I
forgot it now, anyway I feel a bit lost now

happiness is only granted to ones who
want to take it, if you stress yourself
all the time over anything.

well happy people do not complain
you like what you doing don't you
so go on and enjoy the most of it

jump and grab it

take care you all

man

piles of stuffs stack over my head
traveling, writing review, training
and just lots of things, i meant ....

yea i keep telling myself its ok ...its ok ...its ok
i will do great i will do great

i requested for writing the review for Ladyhawke
whom I liked a lot, I didn't have much thoughts but
have the enormous aspiration of seeing Ladyhawke
because after last time i saw her like 1 year ago ?
she hasn't played any solo tour around Australia
at all except for the summer festival

so yea ...gotta work hard on this one
and it'd be so cool just chill ...
things will turn out well

been trying to do karate every single fucking
morning, i've been able to keep at it for 3 days
I don't know how long will I keep going for
but ! I'd reckon it's hard at the start, yet as
it gets into you habit, you might even find
it hard to get out of it .... so yea just keep at
it and its definitely beneficial for karate
in general ....

what else is happening .. too much
the travel things is so getting over my
head, fuck man I applied for the mentoring
program, I really fucking hope I'd get the
chance of doing it ... it'd so awesome

and fuck it if everything will be happening around
Jan- Feb cause I won't fucking be in here

cheers take care you all
Ray

8 nov

it seems that all the people who're doing great
all have been sticking to it and working on it
really hard to reach it, am I not letting everything
slip away , perhaps i am

shut up and explore

so why don't you push harder
and stop wasting all the time ?

-

I need to start gaining awareness of what's
purely wasting my time and effort

21 years old now, I don't have much left

needy

ok I tend to be needy and feel insecure when
I feel for someone, and here is a thing I found
that could maybe help me out, its one for girls
but i guess it works the way for guys as well

http://www.wikihow.com/Avoid-Being-an-Obsessive-Girlfriend

and these are something points really
have me think :

Take time for yourself.
Visit friends, family, take a class, anything you find interesting or would like to learn

Encourage them to have their space !!

You should have other parts of your life going on as well
Get a life, Enjoy life doesn't mean to spend 24 hours with your partner

Relationships are built on feelings for the other person, and love comes only from loving
are you wanting to make the other person feel and in turn,
show you feelings they might not have, think about
What is it really that attracts you to this person?
Feeling was not simply create by saying I love you and I care about you ...
then HOW ?


you should really just follow your heart
and let things flow by natural
you can not force it to happen


and Communicate !! to let each other know how they feel

-

stop and think you dickhead

-

im so tired today ...
I was thinking about ...
we should make a lot of different
because its just good to know people
and we can not be alone, then we learn
a lot of different things from different
sort of people as well, its just cool

i am sorry to say those words eariler
i don't think i can leave you behind

-

I should really have a blog every day
cause I always have lots of thoughts
everyday that I would be quickly forget
the next morning, and it's just a shame
not to pen them down : )

but i cant remember much now damit
ah right one thing was you can do whatever
you want but you gotta give it a shot
and do not be lonely because you don't
wanna be left with those achievements
but no one to share with, that sucks a lot


- meet people, new people, interesting people
different types of people, it helps you to think
outside of the box and to get to see different
point of views, or different ways of life could be
Learn from others

- life imitates bad tv shows and drama shit

- we can make full of excuses for stoppign us
doing one thing, or we can find any kind of ways
to get there, you only live once, i don't understand
all those ideas about how life could process. tons of
bullshits and stupid format, its just fucking small-minded
and narrow-minded, people seem to think about
themself way too much

and i have to say im sick of the game you're playing
and i see no point being compassionate to this
im just taking a lot of craps from you
and i stop taking them from now

-

cool people in fact work really really really really hard
toward where they're getting . . .
they make it happen rather wishing
they aren't any kind of slackass . . .

-

I thought i'd type this down rather than later
I was thinking that this morning how you deal
with the depression and stress

1. is to go and do
some fun stuffs, make something move on or
happen which you're worried about, it sounds
pretty vague in term of practice, but it could
be somewhere you start with to think from

2. is to think about longer and bigger prospect
of life or goals, and what you're going through
now could be all just a process toward where
you're getting, but by all means life as a whole
is a long period progression with no stop, it
seems like

I was out speaking with Dom
then I how realized how he's
trying so hard to keep up with everything
I don't know, in comparison to those time
that I don't really get onto anything, there
are people act a lot more active than me

i meant i do stuffs,
but not enough i feel

-

I gotta say that last night and probably the whole day
I just felt really really depressed and kind of emotionally sick
I didn't know why but on all the way to karate from school
I kept swearing and cursing everything around me ....

I probably was way too tired from the sleep over
at Hungry Jack the night before... I missed the train
cause waiting for Sarach, the Swedish singer to come
out... then I took the wrong one, so I had to run all the
way back from a place I think closed to North Melbourne
it took me one hour of walking and running...

In hope of a slight chance to catch the train back
to Caulfield so I can at least walk from there to my
house, but luckily the last one was far gone about 30
mins ago. I didn't have enough cash nor the card with
me that night, what a bummer .... I had to stay at a 24 hrs
fast food shop for the whole night...

I got home about 5 am then had 2 hours sleep
heading out again to the Victoria market to catch
up with my sister, I went because I do need some
cheap vegetable, and whatsoever is over there ...

anyway, I wanted to but I didn't talk to perry
at all last night at karate, then I pretty much talked
to everyone else in the same "I am so annoyed and sick"
kind of manner, I didn't know why ...then I got more
depressed again wondering why my social skill still
sucks so much even I've tried to work on it for so
long, man I pretty much just went all the way down
and wish I could scream out "fuck you motherfucker"
loud last night, it was bad and ugly...

does everyone all has one of thoes days once in a
while or I am mentally unstable...? I felt alone last
night and couldn't really be bothered to do anything
so I just went to sleep straight away ...

I want to be brutally honest, I want show compassion
to other people, I want to be able to take someone's
aspect of view while I am speaking, I want to know
how people are doing with their life, and all the many
other things, but Why it is so hard at times
I just cant help but wonder, I might not just take
myself seriously enough, I am not working hard
enough to reach it

as I wanted to type it down before, I need to know
what my emotion is, and try to study it, why am I
depressed and how has that affected on me .....
it is important and the reason being would be
while being depressed I often close myself to
connection, lose sense of humour, practice
things efficiently, and lose interest in others
pretty much totally ...

... and I do not want that
I hate to lose a converstation just fucking
because I was down and didn't want to talk
/people might be saying it is ok if you don't
want to talk then just don't talk ... but I
am more like I want to but I am too fucked
to talk to someone ...

everyone seems to have problem with some
aspects of their life, and this is mine
I just feel if I don't move on I will be
stuck in the same place forever

the other thing is I wanted to write
down was that I was thinking last
time about people should be feeling
down or gloomy cause if you are
why don't you just go and do fun
stuffs then ...

I didn't know what i meant
but that's remotely I could remember
what I wanted to write last time

Jonna if you saw this
could we talk some other time
when you're free, I wanna know
how you're doing

take care
Ray

-

yoo hey how you guys all doing
so after having Leigh as guest on
the radio show I had roger and dez
last week ! it was cool but ...I had to
say I didn't like it that much cause
I wanted to do the show seriously
I meant I wanted the show to be
informative, cause I always like
informative stuffs ...but yea you
know we were just hanging around
and trying to get the dj desk work
both two of them felt a bit hestitated
to talk through the mic since its
their first time in studio

it seems that roger had a huge blast
he kept saying it was awesome he's
definetely coming back again, and yes
he is coming back again for some djing
which is nice cause I wanted to check
how it works too !!

there you go ...
went out last night to Spring tones
wouldn't really say its one of the best
I've been , partly could be cause I haven't
heard most of the bands before so .....yea
but I met teeth and tougue again
which I saw last time at corner
gotta work on the review for that gig
for the volunteer job at radio

gotta go , come back with some more to write on

-

ok alright there there
so Dash and Will album launch
man how exciting the gig should be
I wasn't so happy with the fact
that I rock up just after my karate
training and pior to that, all day
lab working hours

and right !
not to even mention about
this morning's PBS studio check-out
this morning took me a while finding
where exactly it is, due my failure
of getting off at the right stop
i had to walk for about 20 mins
to reach the actual place...

but ! found a really good new
street to hand around !!
they've got lots of cool
cafe and whatsoever along
the road = )

ok back to the show ...
I was actually tired already
by the time I moved on to the ding dong
where the show take place, coz it's really
been a long day, haha and no one came
to the show with me , so i was bored haha
BUT man I still enjoy very much of the show
really lovely to see them live
though I wish I could've
enjoyed just a bit more =( = )

Dash and Will ( Charlie, Josie )
are just simply so sweet
I love how they show affection to
the people, I wanna start doing
that too , it's just beautiful ...

they give hugs and cuddle
that is soooo sweet , we never
do that in Taiwan = (( !!

so yea there you go
so tomorrow not sure if I am going
to the Jamie T could be possibly
have to work all day for the
storyboard .......................

but woo man Sunday party at Section 8
with radio monash people dam !! =D

anyway, take care you guys
much love - have a good weekend

-

heyyy so we pull it off ! flawlessly actually
Leigh and I met up today at Caulfield then
went ahead to the Clayton for the radio show
he turned up a bit late but we made it just in time

excitingly, Roj was there! so good to see Roj
I love her, she's awesome hahah hope to party
with her again soon enough, that fucking just
reminds me that I gotta be there for the Sunday party
at Section 8 man ! awesome !!

anyway back to the radio show !
yeh we set up everything just to
make sure things go smooth when
we're on air , yeh when everything
was good, just hit the button and we're
on ! we're on ! the first set went about
just alright, i didn't really think too much
what to say, just ramble through the whole
set pretty much ,Leigh was doing really well
actually, he made so many awesome jokes
which light up the moon so much that
make the show proceed so much easier

then we just pretty much play songs
that Leight brough in, as we talked about
some the most random topics ...like you
toliet in the car and you flush it down
on the road everywhere lol ..................
also about Leigh wanted to sell his kidney
to go to a band's concert lol .................

so yeh the show was fun !
was great man ! you know i was thinking
this is WHY everyone should just do the
stuffs they love doing ! because you'll
always feel excited about what you're doing
i meant people search for happiness but why
most of the people are so in the shadow and
gloomy ? they don't try hard for the things
they really wanna do , i am serious if you
wannt do it , just MAKE IT HAPPEN

I've spent way too much time sitting
there wondering if I should take that step
now I finally feel like I have moved forward
a little toward what I really wanna do , there
are still so many others , I gotta keep this up
because it just feels so great

take care you all
xx

-

I was guessing I should write a bit of about
what I did since I don't take any photos
I totally should

I went to a show last night of Andy Bull
a talented guy whom I saw last time as
he supported Lisa Mitchell at Northcote

I called lots of people coming to the gig
but everyone seems to have a plan
I had to go alone but it was ok I've
done lots of those before...

but the night didn't go as bad as
refuse over the phone calls and messages
I was at the venue and got a vodka something berry
I didn't even know what that was , only
got it cause they other guys had it xD

then I found a table to sit down ,
I saw some of the people going out
to the balcony then I walked out as well
out of curiousity ... but ther was nothing
but bunch of people smoking . as nearly
walking inside, I said to the man who's
by the door "just came out to check out
what people are doing haha "

but amazingly enough we started talking
,and turning out that he's an editor of a
music megazine, by sharing the same passion
toward music, we talked for quite a while .
and his stories were just amazing

he said that he's never been to a gig
without meeitng the artists , well
I am sure there must be one he didn't
get to meet , but i guess mostly he has.
and that's so cool =)

cool stuffs happening around didn't
finish up there. As the show started
off for not so long, I was standing by the corner
,listening, but saw a familiar face
in front of me, I asked if she's Dash
from the band Dash& Will , whom I
met before at a music workshop

she remembered me !
so we talked, man that was great
they have a album lauch coming up
at ding dong, Dash was poking me saying
I better be there for it cause it'd be awesome

I am pretty sure I will ,
I just love album lauch gig so much
most of the album lauch gig are just
so good, just like the last time with
drugs in vegas

anyway , the night was great
I just wanna put this down
for future momeory

lookng forward to seeing Dash & Will on Friday


forgot to say in the moring of the just past Saturday
I met a myspace friend for the first time ever, Winona
I took her to the Asian DVD/CD shop which she confused
with the other to get the Moon Child DVD she was looking
for, then later we just walked around in the city talking
random stuffs , yea it was pretty fun x)

haha um as we were crossing the road
I overheard a guy behind me saying
"where is my catapult ? "
so I ask her what a catapult is
and told her a guy just asked that
to his friend, she was so like wtf

um then apparently
one of the guy's friend heard
me asking what a catapult is .. lol
she was sort of gazing at me with
a werid look ..

I got my new karate belt
this morning as well , aw man
how better this Saturday could be ?

today I will draw a lot I guess
I didn't do much drawing to show
Mark last week , so he wasn't happy

I was standing by the CD shop
listening to Lee Hom Wang's 2008 music man
and he once again shaked me so much
with so much passion in music
I love him so much !

I bought some of the traditional
Chinese music at the store today
as well ,and a collection of Jet Li
because for the fact that our
dojo teachers are not really strict
on students ,I suppose this is one
of the best way to get inspiration

-

I haven't updated this for ages
I am so lazy and bad at keeping this posted
I guess I will type a little
but does anyone really read this ?
um never mind

last Friday we karate fellows
got together and had a meal at
a racecourse hotel , where people
bet on horse-racing and football
so there were around 15 people

Steff, Conuur, Lana, and Luke
played a bit of pool that night
was great and funny as hell xd
because everyone was so bad at it
hahahahha, there's one shot
steff was trying to tell me how
to do but i failed really hard
and boss Luke was bagging her
" good instruction steff" aside

the first game steff got the black
ball sank so she was ultimately lost
the game, and she was really upset
about it then walked off hhahahha
she said she needed another drink
and she'll get better , but she only
got worse afterward .....

and steff bit conuur on his arm
coz he lock her neck from behind
for playing ... and there was bruises ..

umm lots of people don't behave like
adults at our karate place

Luke told me how to play stacker
machine that night, but I failed
so hard at it due to my slow reflexes ..
I really want the iPOD as major prize though

I've been trying to do karate every morning
for a bit , either streching or whatsoever
because sensei Luke has told me that he does
it every morning, I was like " woo cool , I wanna do that
too " , but it is easier than done, you do get lazy sometiems
it is hard to maintain the routine ....well done boss

I've been doing the weapon bo as well
it is getting better , and I found that
I have to start slow to get the right
centre of weight of the stick to be
able to spin it efficiently

there's so many great gigs coming up
in Melbourne, can't wait to see those ..
everytime feel so alive to be there
at the venue and listening to those bands

I've decided to feel bad about what I
wanna do, you got to have belief in
what you're doing, what your dream is
people of course will tell you it is not
possible or it is really hard, because
most of the people are afraid of stepping
out into an unkown world, and they're
afraid of being irregular to the standard
of society, most of them chose to walk
down the path of what the society has
set them to, because it looks safer

but don't listen to what people
told you, I have deeply learned
that, because the thought and
decision I've had years ago all
have been proved they were right
I've been right the all time ..

anyway, it is going too deep again


I've been spending a lot of time
researching about music and listening
to them , school works seem to stupid and
crap to me somehow, I wonder how
much exactly they can teach me,
all the learning resource depends
on how much your strech yourself,
of course they can give you advice of
many different things they have seen
before, but stupidly enough, most of
the students don't seem to want to give
their most effort into their work

you really start wondering if University
is the place people who have the similar
dreams gather together, or it is just a result
of commercial corporation trying to
comfort people's insecurity of their
future, I think I am right

-

so after having thought about what i wanna
do for the rest of this year, i wanna focus on
doing these things :


read ( english ability )
social life ( since i don't really have one )
skate-board
school
karate
training
audio engineering

there are so much more things
i really wanna do and learn
but i guess these are all my time
can fulfill at the moment



all the best
and much love

-

holiday is about to be gone
soon we'll all back in school
and work our ass off on projects
after projects, having your full
life sleeping in a lab things

the school result is coming
out on Friday, I am so worried
about my stupid score, if I failed
it, good thing is that I could
go travel between the gap year
before I gradute, and I could continue
doing karate at the same time ...

but the bad thing is that I'd
waste more money on same subject ..
and time, that'd suck so much

I've been skating and just
focusing on doing karate ..
but every now and then I wodnered
so much what the hell im doing

it feels so aimless sometimes
because I dont really set thigns like
goal or milestone in my life , it makes
everything seem so restless , having
no where to set its root

and I've been trying really hard
to get a richer social life , its
not so easy , for some people it is
but i used to be too use to doing things alone
and being mentally disconnected from others

what else has been happening
I m now pretty much going to karate
every night , even i dont have class
doing sparring practice tomorrow with a guy

fuck the weather looks awesome today
going out for a skate soooon !!!!
it now feels so good to skate
after having the control of the board
better !! haha :D:D

hmmm been trying to listen to some emo
bands too , and any bands i could find
really, found a shoegaze band last night
called vivian girl with influence from
wiper and nirvana, i might talk about it
with steff tonight , she like nirvana

I do really think I should work on
my english so much more now, i haven't
seriously studied on it for a while
but english ,, thats the things
that'd get a lot of things i want
in life , social-wise and job-wise

dam im so worried about the result

-

I haven't seriously updated this for a while
hmm I guess I just forgot that I still got a blog here

I borrowed bunch of Samurai movies from the library
for research, I think about 10 or more lol
I am gonna rip all them off on my hard-disk drive
cause I guess all those DVD aren't the same region
as my computer is set to be : )

hmm been skating not really on regular basis
but I do carry the board out with me everyday
make sure my two foots are on the board

what else,, and have been drawing as well
checking out music, man i pretty much spend
today sitting in front of computer reading about
music on wikipedia , i don't go CD shop so often
for now , so i need some new refreshing tunes
though it wasn't that easy to find some
pleasing sounds for some reason

I've been fussy about music
probably have to find a quiet time
listening to them carefully //

I download a bunch of videos from a youtube
channel called " goSwedish " , a girls has
made loads of videos teaching Swedish
that's pretty sweet, so hopefully i will
be picking up one or two

I've been having a feeling that
sometimes I am being so neurotic ,
but all I gotta do is love and believe yeh ?!

I feel like seeing a gig
but I have no idea which one to go
nor whom to go with , MOFO .....


"Dance like no one's watching. Sing like no one's listening.
Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt before.
Live like there's no tomorrow."

--

I miss jonna :D:D:D !!

..

I sort of just threw up because I ate too much



LOL

-

a bit more to go from holiday ><
go go go

geez

i wish i could just lie down on the floor and sleep
i am actually half braindead but have to keep coming
up with ideas , but tis ok , its not nothing like anyone
of the hardest time in my life

i've been through a lot more than this

-

I feel really sorry about anything immature
I have ever done to anyone

I'm trying the hardest
not to make any of the same mistake
and determined to my life, my passion,

thanks so much for being around

I can't make it
through this life all by myself
thanks so much

+

been having lots of school works due and has to be finished
but fuck man im ready and pumped for that
gotta get all the things done : D

now im at radio studio playing X Japan on the air xD
i got their album about last week from loraine
i've been hearing their name from my housemate
who loves 80s heavy rock/ pre-metal music

2nd album , blue blood , released 1989
which I'm listening as well while Im playing
man its really good sound ! so 80s heavy rock !

im trying my hardest to learn how to communicate and understand
with people better, i guess i still have much to learn

I think im doing a hand-drawing animation for a
9 week project next semester, its gonna be really challenging
coz i have never done it before, i meant i draw , but i dont
animate them , so gonna be doing that kind of things
during the forthcoming holiday i think

ummm i gotta go pretty soon
have a good one : ) !!!

all this will end in 3 weeks

loads of works
loads of works
loads of works
loads of works
loads of works
loads of works
loads of works
loads of works
loads of works

>< !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

alright i gotta get back to it ..

bigger stronger

wanna give a shout out to all of my friends
i really love you guys ...
with out you guys ,im nothing
and i can't do anything
no point for me being here

i've been meeting some
beautiful and cool people
and seeing a much bigger world
ahead of me ..and it's a happy place : )
like full of colour shit u know haha

i wanna be able to commnicate better
meet more people, see more things , learn more
do more things , and fucking travel the world
u know just fucking live a life man

social stuffs has never been big in my life
i hardly ever just hang out with anyone during my teens
i keep things to myself, i dont really go out ,
thus ...i cant commnicate that well with peopel all the time
i did had some social problems

i know i've changed and been learning
but there's more to do

much love
ray

drugs in vegas

I went to see drugs in vegas tonight again
still i enjoy their songs after listening to them
so many times already , it was a mad night
because it was the EP launch gig, quite like
they say , it was a big party, tickets were
sold out , and the crowds were just awesome

i went skating this morning, with a japanese
friend i met last time , kayato : )
man he's such a cool dude ,

he showed me his music in the ipod
today, SICK man so many japanese songs !!
this'd be good for my radio show , i should
get him to get to my house to put songs on

i saw herdly today again
met him last time at the same park
he's a really cool dude too ,
he corrected my ollie today
i shall see him soon : )

and saw adam as well at the station
he's a good skater, he said he's going
to a place 1 hrs away from the city
to film stuffs, coz he's gonna be in
a skating video that's coming out in june !
they're pre-screening that shit on 29th may

then i went skating shop afterward
talked to the guy borrowed me skating dvd
last time, he does judo man , that's cool

the other guy does judo as well at my karate
place, but he is a dickhead

umm ohhh man i saw caz again at the gig
tonight too ...umm i met caz at the
drugs in vegas gig last time , then
i saw and talked to her last time i went
to the duke spirit , she's a photographer
doing pictures for music megazine : )

man she's saying she sometimes couldn't
get much sleep , coz the show finishes up
around 12, and she has to edit photos even
after getting home .....man that sounds shit ..

i know because to do a high quality photo
in photoshop to make it look good ...
it just takes ages to render ........
dont even mention she does that many

umm xd

alright , i fucking have to do school works
tomorrow , it's gonna be fucking boring

i sometimes do think that i learn so much more
outside of school, and school is a thing that
really stop me from learning about life

while i can be bothered
i just wanna type this down

mick on the vocal in the band said today
"without you guys in the room here with us
there isn't that much point for us doing music "

i think that's so true ...
for many things we do ....
share is a big reason for it ..
and it is important, if we can't
share the joy we're having ,
it just sucks ..

and

i realized today that
people are generally lovely
its just sometimes they don't
know how to transfer who they are
or communicate with others ..

i sort of think technology has
changed the way we live..
people tend to stay home much more
rather than going out getting in touch
with others in the world ....

so i guess many of us started losing
the sense or ability of how to

' Communicate '


take care
hugs

ray

works

this week i spend quite a bit time
actually most of the time doing school works ..
no skating, guitar , no karate ...it kind of sucks

since i started skating
it has busted lot of parts of my body..
like elbow, knee, left hip, left thigh ..
-________________- " but i wanna ollie !!

now i gotta go and get the book ...to write essay
i have doe 700 words !! hahaha
300 more to go , easy !

but have to write another 2000 words one
after that , holy shit hahaha
motherfucker

take care

ray

compasstionate, compatible

i really couldn't know
what's the point tolerating
at some certain times

i fucking hate a dickhead working at
the deli opposite to the supermarket
around school ...

he's freaking rude ..
and he motherfucking rip me off
every time i buy a chicken salad

he sold me the salad with 6.50
i fucking just bought the same thing
for 6 yesterday !!

fuck you dickhead

skating blog

i created another blog keeping track of my process for skate-boarding
i just sat and studied for my theory class for 3 hours
by the way , it was ridiculously boring



http://skateandcrystalcastles.blogspot.com/



skating blog

--

my Easter break is almost over
so fast man , but it was a good break
I actually bought a skate-board with
Tommy and Harry , they both skate ..
we went to the part for skating for a bit

I fell like 10 times , really hurts ..
but skating is so much fun ,, i love it :D
my firend back in Taiwan told me that
it'll need passion to continue on ,
i think I will !

so far i haven't tried the vert skating
but i do think that street skating is so
much harder !! coz the surface of the ground
will not be always the same, and you'll
have uphill and downhill ... besides
fell off the board on the concrete
is SO MUCH HURT !!!!!!!!!!!!

and I found that skating is kinda really
tiring ..somehow, and a lot harder than i thought
can't believe how hard it is to even stand on
the board and ride it ..................

i will need a lot of practice.......


so during the Easter holiday ..
yeh i went to the conference ..
and stay home play heaps of guitar ..
i really found that i really love doing it
i can sit down playing guitar and record it
all day , its just ...great xD

umm, what else ...
not so much else i could think of right now
Ah yeh , and i haven't been doing my assignment !

YES !

]

soon will be easter break
I dont really know what I will be doing
I might do some swimming , skipping for sure
I've recently found skipping is so good for
training the butts and lower legs, so its
good for the kicking

umm and I watched the Benjaman movie
it was good, in a way that made me calm
if u haven't, i do recommend you to see it

so for easter, 2 of my housemates are going away
back to their family, and Lisa's family's coming
my mom said she's coming, but I don't know
she's busy, would be awesome if she comes
haven't seen her since last July..

fuck, last July.. it seems so long
as I type it on my blog... that's
10 months ago .. almost a year ..umm

Drugs in Vegas is having their album launch gig
tonight , man wish I could be there for that...
I do really much wanna get their new EP, and get
them to sign it xD, but im playing net-ball tonight..

I sort of really respect Madonna
she's really ambitious and adventurous
she was on one of the Japanese shows
and the way she talks just totally so kool

alright , thats it for this one ..
hope u guys are doing good
and had a bright day : )

doing show tmr, this is great xD

heyyy
how you guys doing :)

er I don't really know what to write about now ...
I'm doing my radio show tmr morning , should be fun
and I think I will totally fuck every thing up xD

I haven't really got those Japanese songs yet ,
Maya gave me some Japanese CDs today ....but
I definitely need more of those

was going in into the city over the weekend
but I didn't really have the time to go ..
busy doing works and partying hahahaha

we had this house party
people sit around and drink wines
but I didn't drink pretty much at all
and xD by the end people sort of got pretty drunk
started talking about women breasts and penis xDDDD
and Ladia said to an scenery landscape painting on the wall
that " I like that painting "
" I wanna be in that painting " xDD WTF !!

then on Sunday, I slept during the morning
( and a bit of afternoon ) coz got tired from the party
then got up doing my sound project works until 3 am ...
just presented it today, the teacher seems to like it xD

Umm.. what else, I went to play ball on Saturday with Joe
his friend came and drove us to South Yara street ball court
was a good place, but damn I can't play basketball
pretty much at all, sort of totally suck at it
his friends and I are playing some games at the Uni
probably after Easter break

I'm probably going running tonight
haven't done it for a while ..

I now really feel like that I don't wanna waste
any time while I'm still young, of course your heart
and thought could stay light and young forever no matter
what age you get on in your life, but these "chances' ..
all these 'people' , everything is gonna be different
and no longer be there while we're growing older and older

I do think being young is precious ,
because we still have so much potential
and I do value that face I am still ..maybe young

ohhhh I got my orange belt for karate last Saturday :D !
we did grading

anyway I miss talking to Jonna
where are you jonna xD !

take care

---

been busy and rundown with Uni already
but just gonna sit down and type some stuffs here
so ...went out to Sarah's house for BBQ last weekend
with other pretty cool folks , was great fun
had to leave earlier for another party in the city
ya, we went for karaoke with the Taiwanese crew
man they were all nuts -_-

turn the song up at the max volume and sing along
I had to get out of the room for quite a few times lol
so the party was ok, for me it was more about meeting some
new people , a cool guy drove me and other 2 girls home ...

on Sunday ...ah cant remember what I did ....
but did works the whole night through pretty much
only had about 4 hrs sleep then off to school for
my presentation, Mark didn't like one of the idea
I was showing ...but I liked that one lol

this week, I was at a point realizing that ...
I gotta spend a lot more time on my work ..
so I have been doing that as well unit today ..so far
so I wont be dying getting my ass off doing work
on the weekend the whole night again ........
and it does need some balance

Im so rundown right now tho .....
ohhhh umm we're doing a project that
we need to take part of a film and remake the sound for it
including the sound effect and all that stuffs, I played
around in garage band ( a sound program, which lots of musicians
use ) coz its got all those cool sound, instruments inside it
it turns out really cool , i like the sound overall, the problem
is now though how to put them all too together............

and the ... coz I don't think you can solely remove the dialogue
from the soundtracks, they compressed two tracks into one stereo
file when it's issued ...so I think I have to do the voice-over
as well ....H A H A H A, umm , I'll get Edward to do the British
accent , and that would be funny L O L

umm what else, shit got this meeting tmr, need to read some stuffs
tonight, which will be pain in the ass !! >__< it's hard reading ..

since my back has got better, i went back to karate this week
and the last Friday, Saturday ... I've been doing this duck down
and kick practice I invented lol to ...train my thigh and butt muscle
I don't know if it's effective yet ...hope it will be ...
and I got my stick xD

Boss, Luke , I call him boss ,coz he's so good like a boss in game xD
ordered for me, but we finished up stick this week and moved on to sword
next week ........ shit , but sword should be fun too

can't think of much what else is happening now .................
umm, I've been eating my cereal so quickly ... finish one pack
in 3 or 4 days at average .... L O L

all right , shit I feel sick in stomach pretty much all day
this is so awesome

and fuck I haven't been to CD shops for about 2 weeks

WHAT A MIRACLE !!!!

take care guys :)

((

had a really shitty day .. :(

-

I've been busy , and found myself doing a scary thing
when I get too much going on, I actually realized that
I was not really listening to what people exactyl trying
to say ..... I thought I was listening but I am not

all I was keeping saying is, "aw cool" , "aw wow" ,"okey"
but the whole bit didnt go through my head
coz I just got too caught up with my own stuffs
this is so bad ...I dont wanna do this again anymore ..

like today in the meeting, Sarah was sick ..
I only noticed she doesnt look too good when
someone else asked her , and I dont even remeber
I looked at her face earlier when I talked to her

this must be

I pretty much spend the whole weekend having fun ..xD
well I did some work on Sunday, about 10 hrs in front
of the PC trying to come up with 3 ideas for my motion
graphic project. It went ok I guess

having done that I slept for about 5 hrs then
going for school, now I'm at a self-working session

I've been confused about being compatible
sometimes ..other people just give me so much shit
like they do so strange and weird things to you
and could be just totally insensitive to you
have I ever pondered the point of being kind
and compatible to people from time to time ?

Yes, and a lot, sometimes I just don't get it
I don't like to easily judge people, or I don't
even wanna judge anyone's doing, but some of them
could just be a completely dickhead or jackass ...
and I got sooooo irritated and angry by them .....

and I don't exactly know how and why could I just
forgive them and even try not get mad at them at all ..
it was hard .... I wish I could just curse them thousands
times and they will burn down to hell xDDDDDD

but NO .... I guess all that is a test ....
cause I do know judging and hating people don't
make anything any better ..................

all right ..should put all this to and end here

just wanna say to jonna that... we'll keep in touch for sure..
if ur reading this ,

umm but wanna say that I feel that I always
end up saying something stupid every time
commenting on bdb ... don't know why
I wanna delete for the most of time
every time I commented .. arh ..

: )

BDB is stuffed up again -_-


After I've been fooling around the whole last week
I decided to get myself seriously onto school works
well I don't call them as 'school works' because they're
actually something entirely inspiring and ...intellgent-upgrading ...
what am I talking about anyway , I actually enjoy doing
school stuffs, that is what I mean , like what just I did ...


couple of hours, I stayed at school watching some tutorial clips
and playing around with Adobe After Effect, this is a pertty new
program to me but didnt take me long to get my head around it ..
since I've pretty much used all the other Adobe-made designing program
so now experiement comes to the key,


http://www.videocopilot.net/basic/


this is the website you might wanna look at
if you're interested in doing some cool effects in
your own-made video, someone else video ,or whatever
check it out , very useful , informative, and life-changing ..


I've been thinking about how to say exactly the same things
in a more interesting way , or more relaxing , joking way
I don't usually know how to joke in english , sometimes
and this is a problem because I enjoy saying silly and stupid
things very much , but now my english ability is limited ,
in my first language I say stupid things all the time
and they're funny ....

at least I believe so

hey hey hey

so my school has started this week ,
I feel kind of great in a way because
it's just good to be around some creative
people I guess, and I feel pumped to do some
serious shit this semester

the projects we're doing are actually
tough and requiring a lot of works
but should be awesome to put time in : )

I've been talking to people
and I found out a lot of things

I realized that I wasn't the only
person on earth having problems socalizing
with people and making friends , in fact
a lot of people have problems with it
I can tell by the way they talk and act

I tried very hard not to think about
all sorts of behaviors that people do
in a negative way but sometimes I can
not help but have those thoughts
in my mind..... but I know that as
soon as I start being paranoid with
people around me, I wouldn't be able
to make any friends ....coz I won't
stay true for much longer either

so I do not think too much about how
people act anymore, I just do what I do
talk what I talk ......

even though I do wonder if people in this
world still believe in humanity, love, and
friendship, loyalty etc. anymore

the other things I found was ..
the world is bigger than I thoguht
I guess how big your world is how
much you open yourself up to Chances
, people , events , things Opputunities.

You should look at
all the things happening around you ,
they're actually a lots still await
for you to discover or try out ...
and some of them you still can not
see or realize , nor know about it



I joined a lot of clubs today lol
one of the greatest one was radio monash
they have activities going on teaching you
how to do a show, djing, setting up the gears
recording for the bands , they have a studio
across at the other campus we have at school
so I can't wait to do some stuffs with them :)

yeh, jonna you're right ,2009 is gonna be awesome : )

Drugs in Vegas had a show tonight, I should've gone ...
but the weather was so bad tonight ,
I can't wait for their EP to come out

take care

I was gonna type a blog

but I'm tired now haha , maybe later XD

today

my school starts tommorow at 9 am
it's gonna be a tough year i guess
since its the last one, but I'm looking
forward to it, I think things will be great : )

since I've been talking and meeting people
around me, some of them are amazing, and some
of them are strange, I don't understand them at all
but I don't wanna think about it too much

i guess being young is a gift
we have so many time and strengh
as well as opputunities ........
I've been thinking about what the heck
exactly am I doing in this world .....

but the answer is unknown, now I do
know what I like and what I wanna learn
but I can not predict the future nor know
exactly what I will do in 4 or 5 years ...

though I do know my aim isn't gonna be
for the benefit of myself, basically
I don't consider myself is existing ..
what I mean by that is yes I do 'physically'
exist NOW, you can hear and see me all
because my Body is functioning as a human ...

in another 80, 70, 60 years, "I" do not exist ..
I might be lying underground or burned into ashes..
who knows ..

but while my human body and brain still runs..
there must be something I can do for any benefits
for the next generations in any terms.. even it is little bit

anyway ,that's what I think of myself ....
I should clean my room today .....

take care : )

=

I dont mean I will leave
like " ok im pissed off , good bye "

I understand what you're saying
I need time too to figure out myself
to know what went wrong with me in my life

but plz take care

sorry

i didnt wanna hurt anyone
i didnt wanna make anyone uncomfortable
thats not what i want


now i need time to figure out myself

living under a rock

sometimes i take a moment and start viewing
things around me, and everything seems just
so UNREAL , in a way

its like i never understand how
this world works , why is everything
happening the way it is and stuffs

why is people doing the things they're
doing , behaving , thinking , talking

it seems so normal as if they' were
all the ways they were supposed to be
but it is just NOT

i don't know if that makes sense

------

I'm pretty lucky all my housemates are so nice
I was afraid that some people might isolate themselves
but guess I worried too much

Lisa is an Australian used to live in Canberra,
she's doing drama course at the same Uni as mine
she wants to be an actor..............

Edward is an Australian too who has a metal band
called Striker, he's the lead singer and lead guitar
it's cool to have him coz we just had a short lesson of
how to strum guitar last night :D it felt good

we also got onto the garage band, which is a recording
program a lot of home-based studio artists use
and recorded one of his songs from the band
Edward played two tracks of guitar and did the vocal
it came out pretty cool, but it could be better

it really got me listening to the songs in so
different ways once you actually get your hands on
these recording and mixing tracks thing, i talked to
two the lecturers in SAE last time i went on the
open day , they told the first thing you'll need
to learn is how to capture the sound... then is the
effect and balance of signal and everything ...

the reason being is i guess exactly like filming
you wanna get the best footage by the beginning
so anything afterward could be fixed or modified
in the program, as well as the sound .........

and there are just numerous of types of ways to
capture sounds and types of processes of recording
them , I read it on an audio Tech magazine before
some people like to do the drums first and let
everything works along or around with it
and some people do the vocals first .....
sometimes it could even be possible to record
everything at the same time ,

anyway, i was talking to Becky yesterday on msn
about the Music Festival thing she used to organize
in Taiwan, the Spring Festival , coz i told her i
want pull off one of those things too , but more
internationally , Taiwan is a strange place, it has
the biggest market and environment in Chinese Music
industry, musicians from Hong-Kong, Malaysia, Singapore,

if any of them ever wanna expand or further their
career in Music, they'd come to Taiwan to sign up with
one of the record company, it seems like it's a place
where music should just bloom up like fireworks...

but it didn't, mainstream music is still so limited ..
lots of talented musicians doing alternative things
are still having trouble getting their daily wage

and we don't have any major international music festival..
as for Asian, Japan has Fuji Rock Festival, and thousands
of international acts, including the Myspace secret Japan
just had Lilly Allen in Tokyo ........
Korean has Pentaport Rock Festival which has been held
for 3 years ..... Indonesia had Iron Maiden landed on ..etc.

anyway , Becky said she thinks its a cool idea
and she said she will help me pull if off lol ..

Becky is a Taiwanese lady i knew online
she's a clothes desginer, has her own brands..
she's six years older than me , I like talking to
people older than me, coz i just feel i got so much
out of them every time somehow ......

like how i was speaking with Mark, my teacher
in Karate dojo,
i felt that too every time talking to mom..
I talked to her last night
I said I'd go back to do my army service after finishing
my course here, well army service is compulsory for any
male over 18 in Taiwan, we have to do it, but a lot of people
try so hard to get away from it ,
tho I'm very looking forward to it,just to know how to use guns
and throw grenades ....to blow someone up ... LOL
and it was said that.. you will be mature as fuck
once you came out of that place, i was thinking
oh man ... that's exactly what i want !

it'd take me nearly 2 years to finish that , and
I will be doing some audio things ...........
I hope i will have a lot of time spending with my mom
when I'm back to Taiwan, she's been alone i guess ..
since my dad screwed the money up when i was 14 ..
she's been working so hard, so we don't really have
much time spending together, and then i was out in Australia
after 17, we spend even less time ..........
last time i saw her was 1 year ago , it felt so bad
that i had to see her walk away at the airport

anyway ..
take care guys !!


ray

my head spins

I now truly live in a house
that gets speak english for full-time
with non-stop ...............

and i think i feel a bit overloaded ..
spinning head .................

Im so tired

just moved this morning to where I'm gonna stay
for a year, now what's coming is the hardest part
of moving, unpacking and replacement.......

I totally sat there looking at my 26 boxes, 3 lodges
lots of bags, didnt know where to begin .....fan
and I was so hungry

I unpacked for a bit then fell asleep on the ground
as I usually do when I'm really tired....

I met Lisa , moving in to my next room,
and two more people moving in probably
next day or whatever

yeh... I know its valentine's day
and I'm not sure I like it ...
I love this music video tho
it is so sweet ....

--

I have to say no one told me today
is 13th Friday neither I've noticed that..
strangely I had a bloody good day .. xD
maybe somtimes it is better not to know ..

this morning woke up in a chilly air ...
it was only 6 O'clock, i've been having a trouble
that I can't sleep over 7 hours , nor I can
sleep over 10 am .. it's actually quite magical ..

i was sitting there wondering what the hell
am i gonna do early six clock in the morning ..
so i went running around the parks and doing
push-ups ... pretty good choice actually
fresh start of the day xD

anyway, I went to the new house by walking after
getting coffee and scone ... just to check
the condition of the house before moving in ..
you're usually asked to check anything that look
damaged and it is your responsibility to report
it back to the landlord or whoever is in charge
of the house .... SO ... I just checked the room.
pretty boring

and.... after that, I got to meet the girl from
Netherland, i think her name is something Ann ?
I'm just so bad with names .....its a bad habit...
I ran into her when she's about to leave for works
so we didn't chat much -

I was quite amazed yet worried that house is so quite...
WHEN can I exactly play my new order and party it up ...xD
NO MORE i think ........ headphone is an option ..but ..
-____-

then, I walked up to Caufield to meet up with Maya ..
probably one of the people I know best around Australia ..
I don't have many friends in here yet somehow , which sucks
but i will have more .... since I made my mind up -

in shock and confuse , Maya's new place is the room I used to live..
...man I wanted to tell her that room is evil , same as the housing
agent , though I couldn't since she's all ready to move in like tomorrow
XDD we pretty much spend the whole afternoon around her apartment and
coffee shop, we're both coffee addict... her BF is going to Sweden
in Apr. coz he found a job there , and she's planning to go there
after finishing the degree... I said I'd go with you if I didn't have
to do the army service for 2 years after this semester ..

yeh we had some good chats, then I headed back home, karate then sitting
here in the library dealing with my new class time table .....
and typing blogs .........

yeh that's pretty much ...........today
i've been practicing my guitar, my finger hurts , and the wrist
haha suck it up -

明天要搬家 .....今晚又要整理東西了...幹 XD
google translate :Tomorrow to move to finishing tonight ..... things do ...
me : moving out tmr, gotta pack tonight again, damn

at least it got the tomorrow..

sup

i finally got a place
so might be moving in in less than a week

it got up to 47c here in melbourne 2 days
broke the highest record in the past 40 years..
and i was out doing house-hunting all day
so yeah , it was like some sort of fire-storm..
as you walked into somewhere has air-conditioning
you'd find your whole body coverd with ..heat
the pants, shirts are all fully warm :D

anyway and the bushfire is getting more serious
in the east Melbourne, more than hundered people
have lost their loved ones .... and more people
out of electricity ......etc. it hasn't been like
this for many many years ...dramatic climate

I went the SAE　open day that day
I actually have been there before already
but this time they open all the facilty for inspection
doesnt make much difference from last time either But..
had some chat with some tutors in the school
so got some more out of it this time

i like a shopping centre around the area im living now tho
there is coffee shop makes good coffee and good scones :D

im looking for a guitar lesson , or either a audio-produciton lesson now
and since the house hunting is done , imma gonna start looking for
some casual jobs .. hope it will go well

I actually found myself wanting to do or learn A LOT OF things
but just didnt know how to organize them before..
but now everything goes better now , its like you think
about how to put things in order and just do it patiently :)

i wish to grow a lot more ..... to be one that is much more mature ..
i don't know , i just feel like im so silly for a lot of times
and so lack of something

anyway , its all good
hope u guys doing good :D

hey hey

well it's been a while
i've been pretty busy ..somehow
i've trying to get myself getting up
to all the things at the moment

still ....i think i should read more
and just to learn a lot more .......
and get things more planned

i boguht a huge waterlemon that day
but still haven't had it ..xD i should
finish it soon, its going bad otherwise

ummm yeh i don't find lot of things i can type
right now, i went see crystal castles last night
but missed the last train back to home

so i had to catch a tram to a place
one station away from my place
and walked home in the dark, cool night
at like 2 am ............

it's not the first time anyway .....
last time was i went see a movie at
shopping centre, and there was no
late bust on Sunday ..........

i walked for 30 mins back home ...

i've been trying to get a job lately
i've only asked two shops though , man i should
definetely more active ............

i wanna do the guitar lesson started at 11th
though finding a new place to stay is the first
priority now .,.......so everything can settle down

and ......my sister and I bought some
skin conditioner that day, now i seriously
wanted to fix my skin, coz i really never
take good care of it , and it just has never
been in a good condition since i was 13...

haha my sister everything i do with my skin
is so wrong , the way i wash face, how i let
it under the sun so much without having any
moisturiser on ..................dam lol

haven't talked to jonna for a while
hope she's doing ok,


take care guys :D
its chinese new year
so happy new year guys :)

40c

it's been four days straight
that the hot air is over 40c
today and yesterday both hits 44c

and i've been cleaning and packing
in the past 2 days.... the room is like on fire -.-
just can't stop sweating when staying in the room ...
tho still have to do cleaning and packing xD

but it's finally done ....whew xD
i was rubbing all the walls tiles in my bath room
and mopping tables and stuffs :O
dam i didn't know my room was so messed up xDD

somehow i still managed to go to the karate lessons :)
but didn't do much today, Mark was teaching some
jumping front kick today, and it was cool

after that i went back to keep packing
and watching Australia Open , tonight was
the semi-final of single male, it was one
of the best ever match i've seen for a while
big, classic tennis :)

then i fell asleep on the ground again
called taxi and load my boxes on it after the nap lol
and now im here......... :D haha

i mihgt take guitar lesson next month
well but have to keep on looking
for a long-term place to stay ....
and gotta buy a flies spray tmr
a annoying fly now keeping flying around ..lol



take care

hey hey

so err
the homestay called me and said that decided
to chose the other student to live with them
hahahahah DAM !!!!!! im homeless now xDD

nah, just joking, my sister's friend has a place
for me to crush in for a month
so man i gotta find a good place
like in a month , wow !

anyway, the SAE insitude has OPEN DAY
on 7th of Feb. !!!



SAE is like a vocational school for
anyone who's interested in becoming an Audio-Engineering
,Live Sound mixer, Studio mixer, or DJ
they have their branch campus spreads widly around the world
including, UK, USA, Europe etc.

haha I've sent a letter to the Sweden campus before
asked them if the course are all in Swedish ,
the answer was ' yes ' T____T "

anyway, i will take some photo back

I'm seeing so many gigs this and the next week ..
I better haev my camera ready to take some good stuffs..
and looking forward to speaking to the two local bands
Drug in Vegas and The Stone Prade


Fighting over Nothing by Dash and Will
its a melbourne band xD





take care guys :D !!

-----

hey jonna
i saw your blog
but i'm not even sure i'm the best person answering you this question
what do you do with your life..
its hard to answer

in terms of the THINGS you wanna do
there are just too many of them,
and you sort of pick them up on your way
through the journey, like I wouldn't even think about traveling Europe back in 2 years ago, and I wouldn't even learn Swedish without meeting you guys
it's not just like ...ok i sit here and focus on thinking what i wanna do ......

the answer doesnt really come out in that way , i personally think .......
i would say the best way is to get out there and grab any oppotunities of learning new things ,and meet new, different people
you will learn a lot from doing all these things, it just gives you a lot of information about the world, everything,
and it might even change the way you see things ..

and....in term of what you wanna do as you JOB,of how you're getting the money from..
its different,

some people just wanna do what they're into as their job, like those musicians, painters, those jobs dont always earn the most money out of all professions

some people decided to do some jobs earning
money as quick as possible,
so they can make use of them to do other things ..

and sometimes you dont always get to decide what you wanna do as your job.. that is true for some people, like my mom, my dad screwed up the money that my mom probably has saved for 10 years... back then we were just little, she had no option but open an restaurant....
does she enjoy doing it ? no..

but yeh ...i suppose you will a lot of times to find out about what you really wanna do, it takes times.....

my sister took 4 years of Uni studying business before she started working at some banks and stuffs back in Taiwan ,
then she just found out she couldn't do it
she's now back in here studying some else , like start over again

i met a guy during the trip, he spent 3 years doing some course competely different from what he's doing now, and now he's doing some sea resource research ....

there are too many stories like this kinds

anyway .................
i hope this helps ......
if you wanna talk more about it
im more than happy to help

i know how all these might sound like a pressure to you
but life is good, trust me :)
just enjoy your ride you know ..xD
no matter how it might be

coz i personally reckon all these are pretty SHIT hahahahaha
all these wont matter if you cant love, cant share
dont matter if you dont have your friends around , right ?

take care

xx
ray


ps. and...just some other things about the trips if you're going to Spain
it is good that you book your ticket as early as possible, it'd be cheaper and sometimes some travel agents have special deals for the flight and hotel packs

and either book it online or through the travel agent, it'd be cheaper too ..
there are some really good website for Europe doemstic flights

and...June and July is a really high season for traveller, just watch out each others if you're traveling with your friends
coz there will be lots of different people around ..

jsut to make sure everyone is safe xD


good luck with it ..

:)

Justin will show up at the end
he's playing the piano ...xD
"she sings my song better than me" lol





she's a youtube singer from Switzerland :)
became famous by posting numberous of videos of
her doing cover, she was signed by the record company
own by Justin Timberlake, debut album will be coming
out in 2009

I started watching her video quite long time
before she was signed, and i jsut found she's so amazing
she's not probably as good as those super diva like
alicia keys or leona lewis yet, but she's got
deeply Good potential :D

she got her style, plays piano
and she has the ability to rewriting a song
you can tell by her serveral cover song she did :)

im so looking forward to her new album


Crystal by New Order
I'm seriously addicted to this songs xD
we're like crystal ... HEY- we break easy HOO--- xDDDD




alfie by burt bacharach
i think one of the best song of all times
love the lyrics

keep it going , keep it going

I started to do some extra works than
I usually do for training this week
I've made my training harder

so mostly if I'm not toot sour
nor feel pain in my muscle
I go running after the karate class
5 laps is the standard, catch a breathe
another 5 laps

I only did 3 last night tho
coz somehow I felt like I was
gonna pass out or something ..
probably was becasue I sort of
only had one meal yesterday
or I did too much photoshop ..

after the running, 2 arounds of
20 push-up, 30 sit-ups, and then strenching
yep, so that's the new routine for now

this is a clip when Jet Li is young
and the stuffs he did ...I only could think
of crazy" this word while watching it
it is bloody quick ...............
and see the one he swings he leg around
the bottle stuck in tree, you guys should
try that sometimes, coz we do that for the
kicking stregth practice as well,
IT IS REALLY HARD to do that well xD



it is amazing how well it gets you sleep so well
at night after a nice training, i've been sleeping
so deeply well hahaha

my mom called me last night speaking about
the Homestay i'm moving in, she probably was
tired or got fed up with somehting else
she kept arguing with me about how bad
my new homestay is, coz i told her i don't
really have a closet in my room,

i told her that's ok, i could figure something out
she kept saying it is ridicurlous, she's not
paying rent for that kind of lousy place or such
said if they don't buy the closet for me
she's not paying the rent for it
and just hung up on me

she's been ridicurlous, sometimes i just wondered
so much what she's doing with all these
even i'm now fucking 20 years old ...
she just could be so difficult at times

i hate to write about the bad things,
so forget it

i have so much stuffs have to do lately
i feel a little bit overloaded
sometimes make me so confused
but yeh i will figure it out ..

i guess not much more for now
for the things i wanna share ..
maybe it isnt really the right time
to type this, i don't feel really
good now ... hahah

anyway take care guys :D !!!!
keep it real

Bars, Clubs

so last Saturday
i just felt so bored
so i decided to hang out
in the city all night long

i never done this kind of
things before, yeh i sort
of did, but with my sister
and that was we went to karaoke
and no it wasnt fun ....

i dont know, i never really
enjoy hanging out with my sister
she could be a bit boring
my mom is much better
she's so cool

anyway, yeh,
i got out around 9
and went the Exford Hotel
which is the place they have
jukebox and 2 floor bars
it was a good place !
i love that jukebox haha
i put one buck in and played
"crystal" by New Order

a group of people were
singing along while that
song is on the screen
haha i was psyched, because i
didn't expect any people would
love that song like i do !

so i grabed a beer and went to them
then i sang along the song with them
hahahahahahah SOoooo random
but it was FUN

they told me they're from Spain
and looking for a karaoke to sing
so i said 'Oh man ok, i know some places'
so we went out the bar and to the closest
karaoke in china Town .. but it wasn't open

but after all, they weren't really after
the karaoke at all, because what they did
after finding out karaoke was close was
cruised around the street and hit on
random girls on the street, kept asking
me if i know any bars have hot girls XD

so i left LOL

anyway, it was only around 1 O'clock
so i headed to the other bar where
Cassette Kids had their after party at
but i ran into some other people asking
the police where 'The Croft' is
yeh there are cops everywhere on
Saturday night in inner Melbourne city
i guess there are lot of unexpected shit
could happen without them

i followed that group of guys to the bar
called 'The Croft' , ahoh interesting
it's in a really grungy, dark alley
in China Town, charges 8 on the door
i went in with the group and the other couple

but it was a pretty small 3 floors venue
and was really quite ........
so i sat on the chair just at the entrance
a corridor has doors on the side to the toilet
felt kind of bored because no much fun in here XD

then the group i was following came in
and seemed to be wondering where that place was
coz it really looks like some sort of office
despite the function of it ...

so i told them 'it's toilet'
they said 'oh lol i thought it was
some private room or ...'
so the other two girls went in for toilet
and the last girl and the other guy
sat on chair around me , waiting

i forgot how we started talking
seriously can't remember
but yeh its a 4 people group
they met each other in the hostel
2 girls from Switzerland, one from
Scotland, the guy's from Texas, USA
i always like the Scotland accent
but the her accent wasn't so strong

they were going downstairs
and i wasn't really in intention
of hanging out with them, but they asked
me if i wanna come down as well
so i did

down there i had a really nice beer
which i forgot its name, it tastes
a bit like a kind of blend of vanillina
and honey, pretty cool and pretty cheap as well
we didn't talk anything serious down there
i mostly talked with the Scottish girl
she's probably older than me around 25
or so , anyhoo, she seems really well-traveled
she's done some places around Asia, Europe
which is cool, coz most of them don't bother
going Asia first, they seem to
be more keen on Europe,

so a bit later
the guy asked me if i know
anywhere to get weed ...YES
as known as Marijuana, dope

WHAT ?! do i look like i KNOW ?! XD

well, i know this thing happens every
now and then, it does as well in Taiwan
" The Drug-Using " in bars and clubs
it wasn't no biggies for me, coz i heard
it about it a lot ... but yeh i will never take it

but yeh i kind of understand why people
wanna take it, they're curious, and sometimes
it is a kind of release when you feel so shit
but have you read anything about these drugs
before using them ?? i have , and it sounds
so freaking damn bad,

let me spell it out for you
drugs increase your heart-beat and
get your whole body work a lot more faster
than it should, that's why you feel so pumped
after taking it and staying so awake,
in some rare cases .... peoples' bodies
couldn't handle that effect it cause and
die after few uses or first use

in some cases, drugs shorten your memories
, decrease your body function, some reports
show that people start losing their ability
of focusing or thinking properly

some drugs could relatively increase the
chances of getting your cancer as well

ok does that sound funny at all ?
the worst of all is you might get
addicted to this thing !!!!!
became a junkie and your whole
life would feel apart .......

of course i didn't start lecturing
them after hearing these people use
drugs, but if i see them again in
other places , i think i will
if that could save a life -

we did exchanged number after they left
we should do some healthy stuffs next time
rather than hanging around in a bar
and talking about drugs .... XDDD
the people who're reading this
if you're taking it ...Stop it
like right now ! there are just
so much other ways you can enjoy your life ..

I told my mom this stories
after the night, she just so freak
out about like it's her first time
ever heard people taking drugs
and told me not to call those people
again, coz they're bad or some shit
hahahahha NO !! i'm not doing the same
thing like those people did to me
in high school :
don't get close to the bad people
coz you'll get bad as well

have you thought about maybe
these people are those who really
need someone's help in their life ??
when a person did something the general
society considers a WRONG thing
everyone else just judge and abandon them
who are you to judge the others ?

i was a student never studied in high school
my grade totally sucked back then
and i can see how some teachers and students
just look down on me because of it
none of them ever asked about what
really went wrong with my life
cause something did went wrong
in my life in high shcool

but fucking no one asked
just thought i'm a bad student
i was so lost man , i needed help
until i won the 1st place of a karaoke
competition in school, then lot of them
started like kissing my ass after it
started saying things like
"wow i didn't think you could sing ! "
"wow you're great ! "
yeh fuck you all

anyway ,
my mom just totally freak out
and so worried about it ,
told me not to go there again
i understand .
but i wont do as she asked me to do
she always wants to keep me safe ..
but life is not safe if you really
wanna go ahead and do things ! mommy !
you could stay in a circle which you're
totally safe as long as standing inside it
BUT that's not me mommy, i love you
but this is not who i am
i love doing things
i never done before
stepping into the unknown



anyhoo, i went to the other club
Eurotrash, and back to Exford Hotel
untill 5 am ,

the train only came in at 7:45am
the next morning, i was waiting at
the station, chilling, finally
got back home from the big late-night-out
after catching first train .............

well, i don't think
i will do this that often
it is fun, and it was good
just it is not always so good
hanging around there, unless you're
having some mates around and
getting some good moments

or i wouldn't stay there at night
and yeh i will never take drugs
for my mom and for my friends ...
i don't want you guys to worry about me

take care guys .
and don't take pills
when someone gives you
it could be a trick

fuck just don't take it ok ?

right

so i decided to do a blog
it is good because i can get into a lot more
details about all the things considering in my mind
or the stuffs that is happening in my life
if you're sick of reading englihs
i'm sorry it's all probably all
gonna be some blogs with quite
a bit length ...

so man, it's 2009
i would really say 2008
was a good year , ended with
a trip to party up with Magic Dirt was sick.

I feel amazing, this kind of feeling
never really emerged ever before
lile " it was a good year "
I've always felt nothing when
another year is gone ....

so i guess some inside me
really has changed compared to
the one who i used to be ...
i feel i'm always changing
i hate to be staying the same for
too long, that's just boring .....

anyway, i'm really looking forward to
traveling more this year, either times
around June or July, and YEH MAN
it is gonna be something big you know
something i have never done before
i really feel like it and excited about it ....

and it is going to be my last year of Uni
i feel bad about that i havent really been
puttig myself up to works of school, and
everything in my life , i hate it

but it is gonna be different
because i wanna go out there and do
what i do !! just straight ahead to
the end you know .........
i've realised that we're all just living
and waiting to die ...
i really think about life in that way

so what are we gonna do inbetween our Birth and Death ?

i feel like i cant wait any more sec to waste
everytime this thought comes out
even so much stronger after the trip
to lake entrance, i was speaking with Adalita
about the doing music thing

she said to me " just do it
dont listen to anyone telling you
you can not do it "

i was shaked and hooked
i really feel that i have to
and must get up to THINGS ,
i'm not sure yet what those THINGS are
but I just gotta DO THINGS !! in life
though i never really just stayed all the same
in the past 2 years , but i wasnt that much of
living every minute to my maxium ...
and now somehow i feel im ought to do this

anyway, too much of serious stuffs
i watched YES MAN 2 days ago
LOVE IT
i wanna watch it again now

the karate class today was tough
we did like 300 kicks or whatsoever ..
but its good to be sour - you feel the difference

i'm moving out on 31th Jan. from this aparment
because i hate it, my housing agent is a jackass XD
and i do not enjoy living alone ..... not AT all
SO , where am i gonna go .....
the answer is gonna be .......

with a family that the couple are jazz musicians ..
how cool is that :D i dont listen to jazz that much
but music is one and all the same dont you think

they have a little dude around 1 year old hahahha
i am GOING TO CRUSH him !!!!!!
jk we'll be good buddy : )

and another baby on its way : )
well, i really hope its gonna be good

hmmm what else ...
hahahah i really have idea what to do
with my guitar at the moment,
i meant i could've gone to the lesson
but not now ...........cant do it now

anyway, i will finish now for today -

take care guys -- you MUST
coz i care !! and
im sort of nothing without you guys ...


all the best